Importance of observations over knowledge of all ADHD traits.

As adults, many of us are surprised to discover we have ADHD, and as parents, this surprise can turn into panic when our children are diagnosed.

We dedicate time to frantically learning all we can about ADHD and the specific traits our kids exhibit. This urgency may arise because their behavior is overwhelming and causing chaos in our homes every night.

As we accumulate more knowledge about ADHD, we aim to incorporate these insights into our daily routines and adjustments, as this is in the best interest of our child.

However, by the fourth day, when nothing seems to be effective, you may find yourself turning to social media, searching for any advice or tips that might help. This can lead to feeling overwhelmed as you try to understand what your child might be thinking and feeling, what could exacerbate the situation, and what masking is. Additionally, having ADHD yourself can make you feel quite low.

So what is the difference between observations and learning the traits?

Being aware of all the traits can result in feeling overwhelmed and overstimulated. The characteristics of ADHD are challenges that everyone faces at some point in their lives. However, for individuals with ADHD, these challenges occur more frequently, intensely, and persistently, and often aren't as easily identifiable.

Traits vary from person to person. The brain's development can lead to different levels of deficits, causing individuals to struggle in various areas. Additionally, our upbringing within our family environment influences brain development, making it very challenging to learn about ADHD by studying its traits.

Observations can be more manageable. Monitoring and recording behavioral stages can help reduce the impact. Why? By identifying the root of the behavior, you can learn specific strategies to implement. This also enables parents to adjust as their child grows and their behavior evolves with brain development and environmental changes. It allows you to focus on the current issue without guessing which trait is causing the behavior. If your child has a diagnosis you don't need to know all the traits, just what affects them.

Many parents wonder how to distinguish between behaviors associated with ADHD and normal behaviors, but this separation isn't possible. ADHD is a part of your child, but it does not define them. All aspects of their understanding, behaviors, thought processes, and emotions will be influenced—not always negatively. Observing and documenting can be beneficial for both neurotypical (NT) and neurodivergent (ND) children, so there's no need to alter discipline styles when you have both ND and NT children in your family.

Observation and documentation also involve the ADHD parent reflecting on their own behavior and emotions. This can help identify any unnecessary stresses that influence your reactions.

Challenges in Observation and Documentation:-

Documentation for solutions

Keeping consistent records of your child's behavior when you have ADHD is quite challenging. However, as a parent, you have the greatest potential to make a difference. Witnessing these behaviors at school, home, in stores, or at 'granny's house' can fill us with frustration, anger, embarrassment, and a sense of failure. Yet, we must ask ourselves who can improve this situation. Medication can help to a certain degree, CBT works for some, and therapy is beneficial for others. But ultimately, it is up to us as parents to ensure everything works because the child lacks the ability to be consistent and enforce these measures. Therefore, the only way to assist your child is to observe, document, and develop solutions.

Until next week

Tanya